Student |
Subject |
Grade |
Class |
Words |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| DS | Language Arts | 6 | 5 | 722 |
Essay Summary:
Rani Abbakka Chowta, Queen of Ullal, is celebrated for her courage in fighting against the Portuguese army. Trained in sword fighting from a young age, she never surrendered, united a diverse army, and won battles despite betrayal. Her bravery and leadership are remembered in Ullal’s history.
Essay Grade:
Rubric
| Criteria | Score | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| Claim | 4 | The claim is clear, specific, and insightful, effectively identifying “courage” as the defining adjective for Rani Abbakka Chowta. |
| Introduction | 4 | The introduction effectively hooks the reader with a compelling narrative about Rani Abbakka Chowta, setting the stage for the essay. |
| Evidence | 4 | Detailed and compelling evidence from credible sources is used to support the claim, demonstrating Rani Abbakka’s courage. |
| In-Text Citations | 3 | In-text citations are included and correctly formatted, though the essay could benefit from a wider variety of sources for depth. |
| Justification | 4 | The justification for the claim is thorough, insightful, and well-supported, effectively linking evidence to the central claim. |
| Conclusion | 4 | The conclusion effectively summarizes the argument and leaves a lasting impression, reinforcing the significance of Rani Abbakka’s courage. |
| Organization | 4 | The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, facilitating a logical progression of ideas. |
| Conventions | 3 | There are few errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling, demonstrating a strong command of language arts conventions. |
| Development | 4 | All ideas are fully developed with rich detail and depth, providing a comprehensive analysis of Rani Abbakka’s courage. |
| Structure | 4 | The essay is exceptionally well-structured, enhancing the argument’s impact and readability. |
Total Score: 38/40
Suggestions for Improvement of Structure, Grammar, Vocabulary, Content Length, and Tone
- Consider incorporating a wider variety of sources to enrich the essay with diverse perspectives and strengthen the argument.
- Review the essay for minor grammatical and punctuation errors to ensure clarity and professionalism.
- Explore the use of more sophisticated vocabulary to enhance the essay’s academic tone.
- Although the essay meets the minimum word count, further exploration of Rani Abbakka’s impact on contemporary society or legacy could provide additional depth.
- Maintain the engaging and respectful tone throughout, which is suitable for the subject matter and audience.
Suggestions for Topic-Related Improvements
- Expand on how Rani Abbakka’s courage has been recognized or memorialized in modern India, linking past to present.
- Include comparisons with other historical figures to contextualize Rani Abbakka’s unique contributions and leadership style.
- Discuss the challenges faced by Rani Abbakka in more detail, including societal expectations and the geopolitical context of her reign, to further highlight her courage.
- Consider the implications of Rani Abbakka’s leadership and courage for women’s roles in leadership and combat roles today.
- Reflect on the lessons that Rani Abbakka’s story offers for contemporary struggles for freedom and justice.
Essay:
Rani Abbakka Chowta, Queen of Ullal, Shines with Courage
You may have heard various tales of Indian freedom fighters filled with perseverance and dedication, but what if I told you there is one tale out there, a tale full of valor and resolve, a tale only a handful has heard? This courageous tale is about one of the first female freedom fighters of India, Rani Abbakka Chowta. Rani Abbakka is the Indian Queen of Ullal who lived from 1525-1570, and spent almost all of her life fighting for her country with honor against the ruthless Portuguese army. She was trained with “princely” activities, such as sword fighting, by her father from a very young age. Rani Abbakka permanently scars the Portuguese army while protecting her country with her courageous aura.
First of all, Rani Abbakka shows courage by never surrendering to the Portuguese. While talking about how Abbakka defeated the Portuguese on their first attack, feminisminindia.com states “However, she skillfully deflected the attack and won the first of many battles against the portuguese.” This proves that Rani Abbakka shows courage in revolting against the Portuguese, and it is clear she made a difference by being the “Fearless Queen”, as the people describe her. After losing the first battle against the Portuguese, when the army destroyed Mangalore port, Abbakka resisted and won almost all of the battles after that, up to the point where her ex-husband leaked her war strategies to the Portuguese. Because Rani Abbakka resisted against the Portuguese’s cruel battles, it cannot be denied that Rani Abbakka truly shines with courage.
Adding on, Rani Abbakka shows courage by uniting an entire army of different faiths and cultures. Rani Abbakka gathered tons of people, people skilled or unskilled, man or women, Hindu or Muslim- it didn’t matter who, what mattered was the impact they made. “Abbakka not only thwarted the Portuguese army, but also demonstrated her ability to unite people of diverse faiths against the Portuguese armed forces,” tells an article from thefederal.com while narrating how Abbakka almost defeated the Portuguese army. Her army consisted of fishermen, Muslims, Jains, Hindus, women- all sorts of diverse people. Rani Abbakka cares about protecting her country, and so she earns the respect of her people by being a true leader. Because Rani Abbakka created an army full of diverse people, she won the first of many battles against the Portuguese, revealing a courageous woman.
Finally, Rani Abbakka glows with courage by winning almost every one of the Portuguese battles. While sharing that stories of folktales about Rani Abbakka were passed down by generations in Ullal, ignca.com states “The Portuguese had made several attempts to capture Ullal, strategically placed. But Abbakka had repulsed each of their attacks with sheer courage and ingenuity.” Rani Abbakka has won 5 out of 7 battles against the Portuguese, and was winning until the last battle. Her husband, wanting to take his revenge on her for divorcing him, leaked all of Abbakka’s war strategies to the Portuguese army. Even though Abbakka was captured in the last battle and the Portuguese took everything she had, Abbakka still fought for justice in jail. She unfortunately died while revolting in jail, but her actions will forever be remembered by the people of Ullal. Abbakka is the symbol of courage, as she fought with ingenuity and audacity while taking a stand to the Portuguese army. Because Rani Abbakka won the Portuguese battles, her courage will be remembered in Ullal.
In conclusion, Rani Abbakka shines with courage while protecting her home from the invading Portuguese army. Rani Abbakka shows courage by never giving up, uniting a diverse army, and by winning battle after battle. Rani Abbakka won almost all of the Portuguese’s battles, and did not give in to their demanding permits and taxes. Her own husband betrayed her, but she did not give in. She fought valiantly and vigorously for her country, her home, and was respected more for being a woman. She could have given her responsibility to her husband, but she decided to run things. She showed everyone that even though she was a woman, even though she was Jain, she made a difference. Rani Abbakka is queen, and her courageous personality tells her that it doesn’t matter who you are- it matters about what you do.