???????? Kid’s Read-Aloud | I NEED MY MONSTER by Amanda Noll, illustrated by Howard McWilliam

Here’s a sanitized version of the YouTube transcript:

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Hey, I’m Ryan Le God and I’m Craig Tovy, and welcome to Story Time with Ryan Le God and Craig Tovy! Today’s book is “I Need My Monster” by Amanda Noll, illustrated by Howard McWilliam. Let’s get started!

Tonight, when I looked under the bed for my monster, I found this note instead: “Gone fishing, back in a week. Gabe.” What was I going to do? I needed a monster under my bed! How was I supposed to get to sleep if my monster was gone? I tried to sleep, but it wasn’t the same without Gabe. I missed his ragged breathing, his nose whistling, and the scrabbling of his uncut claws. How would I ever get to sleep without Gabe’s familiar scary noises and his spooky green ooze? It was no use; Gabe would be gone for a week, and I just had to have a monster.

I climbed quietly out of bed so my parents wouldn’t hear me. Grown-ups have some strange ideas about monsters under beds. I knocked on the floorboards and then scrambled back under my covers. I waited nervously. Would a new monster appear? What would he be like?

Suddenly, a monster appeared! “Good evening,” said a low, breathy voice. “My name is Herbert, and I will be your monster for the evening.” Herbert? What kind of name is that for a monster? You don’t sound scary at all! Have you ever scared a kid before? “Well, no, but I have read all the best books on the topic.” Do you have long teeth and scratchy claws? “No, but I have an overbite and I’m a mouth breather.”

Listen, Herbert, I’m sorry, but I just don’t think this is going to work. It’s nothing personal, but I really need a monster with claws. “Picky, picky,” Herbert complained. “As you wish, I’ll go.” There was some more creaking, and then Herbert was gone.

Some scratching warned me that a second monster had appeared. “Good evening,” he said in a high, milky voice. “My name is Ralph. I understand you need a monster with claws. If you would please lean over, I will hold out an arm for inspection.” I crouched on the edge of the bed, hoping to see a horrible, shaggy arm with sharp, ragged nails. Instead, I was surprised to see sleekly brushed fur with smooth, shiny claws. “Excuse me, I don’t mean to be rude,” I asked, “but is that nail polish on your claw?” “Yes, it is,” Ralph replied. “I believe professional monsters should always be well-groomed.”

I could tell that this was not going to work either. I’m sorry to disappoint you, Ralph, but I need a monster with scary claws like Gabe. I thought I heard some more scratching, and I knew Ralph was gone.

Then I heard a third voice from under the bed rasp, “Check out these claws, kid!” I gathered my courage and peered over the edge. The claws were impressive—jagged and dark and razor sharp. So far, so good. “Could you stick out your tail?” I whispered. “Sure, but don’t get scared.” I peeked through my fingers at the slimy tail slithering over the foot of my bed. “Are you a girl monster?” I asked. “Of course I am,” she snapped. “I’m Cynthia. Do you have a problem with that?”

“Um, yeah, I do,” I admitted. “I definitely need a boy monster. Boy monsters are for boys, and girl monsters are for girls. Everybody knows that.” “Well, aren’t you a picky one?” she sniffed, and then she was gone.

Was I being too picky? No, I knew that my monster needed to be well-clawed and menacing. The whole point of having a monster, after all, was to keep me in bed, imagining all the scary stuff that could happen if I got out.

Then I heard a shuffling noise and some slobbering. A fourth monster was under my bed. “Hey, the name’s Mac.” One look at his claws proved that Mac was a big, scruffy boy monster. I shivered; maybe this one would work out. “Those are excellent claws, but do you have a long tail?” I leaned over to see. “No, my tail is stumpy,” Mac slurped, “but I do have an unusual long tongue.” “Why would I be afraid of a long tongue?” I asked. “Oh, I don’t know,” he said, trying to sound terrifying. “You never know when I might lick you.”

I fell back on the bed laughing. “Well, if you’re not even going to try to work with me, Mac…” I held in my giggles. “I really don’t think you should send me away,” he warned. “Kids who reject five monsters in one night…”

“I did not reject five monsters tonight!” I interrupted. “My regular monster went fishing.” “Fishing, huh? Maybe he just left because you’re so picky.” “Fine, I’m out of here, but I wouldn’t expect another monster tonight.”

How was I ever going to get to sleep without my monster?

A minute later, I heard more creaking under the bed—loud creaking with scratching. I thought no more monsters were going to appear tonight. Then I heard a familiar voice: “Sorry I’m late, kid.” It was Gabe! “I thought I would enjoy fishing, but I didn’t. Those fish scare too easily—no challenge at all. You, however, are challenging, my friend. You’re almost too old to be afraid of monsters. You keep me on my toes.”

Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to start the evening with an ominous blob of drool. I peeked over the edge of the bed. Green ooze spread soundlessly from underneath, and the bed trembled as Gabe unfurled his spiked tail. He was daring me to guess where he might pop up. I shivered.

“So you had some substitute monsters tonight?” Gabe said, sharpening his claws on my bedpost. “Were you scared then?” Gabe started tapping. I could tell he wanted to know if I still needed him. “No other monsters can scare me like you,” I giggled, diving under my covers and pulling them up tight. Through the blanket, I heard Gabe’s soft, comforting snorts. I knew it—we’re made for each other!

He growled when my blanket started to slip off the bed. I knew Gabe was ready to eat. “Now, if you could please stick out your foot,” he said, “I’d like to nibble your pinky.” I yanked my blanket back up and scrunched my feet in so Gabe couldn’t get them. “No toes tonight, but you can have this,” I offered, pushing a pillow off the bed. I didn’t even hear it hit the floor. Gabe was back! The ooze was perfect; everything was back to normal. I shivered again. I’d be asleep in no time!

I do have one question about your monster. Did it ever go away? “Not when I lived at home. It was there all the time. When I got my license, I had to drive it around. But when I went to college, my monster stayed home to finish up high school. Then it went to college, and my parents were empty nesters. But then my monster and I came back together, and he was the best man at my wedding and is now the uncle to my children.”

What’s your monster’s name? “Joshua Le God.” So your little brother? “Yeah, I wasn’t a monster; it was your little brother.” Oh, it makes so much more sense!

Thanks for watching Story Time with Ryan Le God and Craig Tovy! Now it’s time for shout-outs: Addie and Cie in Las Vegas, Nevada; Addie, Ellie, and Ry in Riverton, Utah; Grady and Georgia Davidson in Elkhorn, Wisconsin; and Coie Ranch Library in Colton, California.

If you want your own shout-out on an upcoming episode of Story Time with Ryan and Craig, just go to RyanandCraig.com and send us a message. Thanks for watching! We’ll see you next time!

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This version removes any inappropriate or unclear content while maintaining the essence of the original transcript.