How to Manage Your Emotions
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Lesson Article
The Process Model for Regulating Emotions
You and your friend need to ace Friday’s exam to avoid summer classes, and after a week of studying, you both feel confident that you pulled it off. However, when you get your grades back, they’re much lower than the two of you expected, and you are devastated. While your friend doesn’t seem too bothered, it’s making you wonder why you can’t shake this off like they can. The answer to this question is a definitive “yes”. There are numerous strategies for regulating our emotions, and one framework to understand these techniques is called the Process Model.
The Process Model
Psychologists use the Process Model to identify where and how to intervene in the process that forms our emotions. This process has four steps: first, we enter a situation, real or imagined, and that draws our attention. Then we evaluate, or appraise, the situation and whether it helps or hinders our goals. Finally, this appraisal leads to a set of changes in how we feel, think, and behave, known as an emotional response. Each step of this process offers an opportunity to consciously intervene and change our emotions, and the Process Model outlines what strategies we might try at each phase.
Regulating Emotions with the Process Model
To see this in action, let’s imagine you’ve been invited to the same party as your least-favorite ex and their new partner. Your first strategy could be avoiding the situation altogether by skipping the party. But if you do attend, you could also try modifying the situation by choosing not to interact with your ex. If that’s proving difficult, you might want to shift your attention, maybe by playing a game with your friends rather than focusing on your ex’s new partner. Another option would be to re-evaluate how you think about the situation. After seriously reappraising things, you might realize that you don’t care who your ex dates. If none of these strategies work, you can always try tempering your emotional response after the fact. However, this can be tricky, and many of the easiest ways to do this, like hiding your emotions or trying to change them with recreational drugs, generally lead to more negative feelings and health concerns in the long term. More sustainable strategies include going for a long walk, taking slow, deep breaths, or talking with someone in your support system.
Finding Your Balance
While using all these strategies well takes practice, learning to notice your emotions and reflect on where they’re coming from is half the battle. And once you’ve truly internalized that you can regulate your emotions, doing so becomes much easier. No emotion is inherently good or bad, they’re either helpful or unhelpful depending on the situation. Therefore, the question of whether you should always try to be happy is answered with a no. People fixated on happiness often experience secondary negative emotions, like guilt or frustration over being upset, and disappointment that they don’t feel happier. This doesn’t mean you should let sadness or anger take over, but strategies like reappraisal can help you re-evaluate your thoughts about a situation, allowing you to accept that you feel sad and cultivate hope that things will get better. Each person has to find their own balance in regulating their emotions.
Instead, it’s about finding a way to manage our emotions so that they don’t control us. Emotions are a natural part of our experience as human beings, and we shouldn’t try to suppress them or pretend that they don’t exist. Instead, we should aim to become more aware of our emotional responses and learn how to regulate them in a healthy way.
Conclusion
In conclusion, emotions are a complex and important aspect of our lives, and learning how to regulate them can be a valuable tool for improving our well-being. By using strategies like the Process Model, we can learn to manage our emotional responses in a way that helps us achieve our goals and improve our relationships with others. It’s important to remember that no emotion is inherently good or bad and that we should aim to find a balance that works for us. With practice and reflection, we can learn to manage our emotions in a healthy and productive way, leading to a more fulfilling and satisfying life.
Discussion Questions
- How have you learned to control or regulate your own emotions?
- What strategies have you used to intervene and change your emotions in difficult situations?
- Do you think it is possible to always be in a good mood?
- How do you define a “good mood” in your own life?
- Have you ever experienced secondary negative emotions while trying to be happy?
- How do you deal with feelings of sadness or anger?
- Do you think it is necessary to force a smile when you don’t feel happy?
- How has learning to recognize your emotions helped you better understand and control them?
Lesson Vocabulary
Emotions – A strong feeling derived from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others – Example sentence: The little girl felt a surge of emotions when she saw her mom after a long day at school.
Process Model – A representation of a sequence of events used in problem-solving, system development, or comprehension of a complex occurrence – Example sentence: The process model gave a visual representation of the steps of the project, making it easier for the team to complete.
Attention – The mental process of selectively concentrating on only one aspect of the environment while ignoring other things – Example sentence: The teacher asked the students to pay attention to her lesson and not to let their minds wander.
Evaluation – The systematic examination of a situation or action to determine its value – Example sentence: Before coming to a conclusion, the professor wanted to conduct an in-depth evaluation of the data.
Goals – The desired result or possible outcome that a person or an organization wishes to achieve – Example sentence: The team set goals for the upcoming year in order to measure their progress.
Appraisal – A judgment of the value or quality of an idea, process, or product – Example sentence: The manager conducted an appraisal of the employee’s performance to determine their eligibility for promotion.
Intervention – An action or set of actions taken to improve a situation, especially one concerning health – Example sentence: The doctor suggested an intervention to help his patient make healthier choices.
Strategies – A plan of action designed to achieve a particular goal – Example sentence: The team brainstormed different strategies to increase their profits.
Avoidance – The act of ignoring, staying away from, or shunning something – Example sentence: The couple decided to practice avoidance when it came to discussing their financial disagreements.
Modification – A minor change or adjustment to something – Example sentence: The engineer made a few modifications to the machine before it was ready to be tested.
Attention Shifting – Redirecting one’s attention away from negative thoughts and experiences to more positive ones – Example sentence: The therapist suggested that the patient try attention shifting to decrease their anxiety.
Re-evaluation – The act of reconsidering or reassessing the worth, value, or importance of something – Example sentence: The team leader asked for a re-evaluation of the project before it was officially presented.
Tempering – The act of moderating, controlling, or adjusting one’s emotions or reactions – Example sentence: The teacher reminded her students to temper their reactions when they disagreed.
Recreational Drugs – Drugs taken to achieve a desired mental or physical state or to enhance pleasure or performance – Example sentence: The doctor warned his patient against taking recreational drugs as it could have serious implications for their health.
Long Walk – A walk of a significant distance – Example sentence: Taking a long walk in nature was one of the best ways to calm his mind.
Deep Breaths – Breathing slowly and deeply from the diaphragm to induce calm – Example sentence: Whenever he was feeling overwhelmed, he reminded himself to take a few deep breaths.
Support System – A network of people who provide emotional, mental, and social support to one another – Example sentence: His support system was a great source of comfort during times of difficulty.
Empathy – The ability to understand and share the feelings of another – Example sentence: He was able to offer empathy to his friend, which proved very helpful in her time of need.
Balance – A state of physical and emotional equilibrium – Example sentence: Through meditation, she was able to find a sense of balance in her life.
Happiness – A state of contentment, joy, or positive well-being – Example sentence: He felt nothing but happiness when he saw his family for the first time in months.
Guilt – A feeling of responsibility or remorse for a wrong committed – Example sentence: He felt an overwhelming sense of guilt after he broke his promise to his best friend.
Frustration – A feeling of dissatisfaction, often resulting from being thwarted in one’s efforts – Example sentence: She felt a wave of frustration when she was unable to fix the problem.
Disappointment – A feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations or hopes – Example sentence: He felt a deep sense of disappointment when his efforts didn’t pay off.
Reappraisal – A second appraisal of something or a reassessment of its worth – Example sentence: The team asked for a reappraisal of their project before it was approved.
Acceptance – The act of recognizing an idea, feeling, or situation as valid or reasonable – Example sentence: She finally accepted that she could not control everything and that was okay.
Hope – A feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen – Example sentence: He held on to hope that he would someday find success.
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- Categories: Psychology, TED Ed, Video Lessons
- Keywords: acceptance, appraisal, attention, attention shifting, avoidance, balance, deep breaths, disappointment, emotions, empathy, evaluation, frustration, goals, guilt, happiness, hope, intervention, long walk, modification, Process Model, re-evaluation, reappraisal, recreational drugs, strategies, support system, tempering
