Family Obligations: Philosophy #43

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The lesson explores the philosophical debate surrounding the obligations adult children have towards their parents, as presented by Jane English. It examines three perspectives: the unconditional view, which asserts that children owe their parents simply because they are parents; the conditional view, which ties obligations to the quality of parenting; and the friendship view, which posits that adult relationships should be based on mutual respect rather than obligation. Ultimately, the lesson highlights the complexity of familial relationships and the need to reconsider traditional notions of obligation in light of love and care.

The Philosophy of Family Obligations: Do We Owe Our Parents Anything?

Introduction

The bond between parents and their children is one of the most important and personal connections in life. However, a modern American philosopher named Jane English questions the common belief that adult children owe their parents anything. This article dives into her viewpoint and looks at different philosophical ideas about what we owe our families.

Three Views on Obligations to Parents

1. The Unconditional View

The unconditional view suggests that parents deserve certain obligations from their children just because they are parents. This means that children should always be there for their parents throughout their lives.

2. The Conditional View

On the other hand, the conditional view believes that what children owe depends on how good their parents were. If parents were not good, children might not owe them anything. But if parents were loving and supportive, children might feel a stronger need to give back.

3. The Friendship View

Jane English introduces the friendship view. She believes that once children become adults, they don’t owe their parents anything, no matter how much they benefited from them as kids. This view suggests that the parent-child relationship should be like a friendship, where obligations come from mutual respect and love, not past actions.

The Contractual Nature of Parenting

English argues that the relationship between parents and children can be seen as a contract. Parents choose to have children and take on the responsibility to raise them. Since children don’t choose to be born, they can’t be held responsible for obligations they didn’t agree to. This leads to the idea that adult children don’t owe their parents anything for their upbringing.

The Limits of Implicit Contracts

Some people might say that good parenting creates an unspoken contract that children should repay. However, English argues that children can’t make moral contracts because they don’t have the capacity to do so. The care parents give is out of love, not because they expect something in return.

The Role of Friendship in Family Relationships

English highlights that a healthy relationship with parents should be like a friendship. In friendships, people help each other out of love without keeping track of who owes what. So, while children might choose to support their parents, it’s not an obligation but a sign of a loving relationship.

Challenging Traditional Notions of Family Obligations

Philosophers often question the idea that family ties automatically create obligations. For example, if obligations were only based on genetics, adopted people would owe their biological relatives they never met, rather than the families who raised them. This shows that love and care, not just blood relations, are the foundation of family bonds.

The Case for Parenting Licenses

Philosopher Hugh LaFollette suggests a bold idea: requiring people to get a license before becoming parents. This idea comes from the belief that parenting is a big responsibility that can cause harm if done poorly. A licensing system could ensure that only those who are ready to raise children are allowed to do so.

The Value of Family Connections

Philosopher Claudia Mills offers another view, saying that family members provide a unique and lasting connection in a world that is always changing. These relationships can help ground people and remind them of their roots, making it important to keep family connections, even if they aren’t perfect.

The Ethics of Care

The ethics of care focuses on the importance of personal relationships and the moral duties that come from them. While this approach values our connections with loved ones, it also raises concerns about ignoring those without support. Balancing care for loved ones with the duty to help strangers is a complex issue that needs more thought.

Conclusion

The question of whether we owe our parents anything is a complicated philosophical issue that challenges traditional views on family obligations. By looking at different perspectives, like the unconditional, conditional, and friendship views, we can better understand our relationships with our parents. Ultimately, the dynamics of love, care, and obligation within families are complex and deserve careful consideration.

  1. Reflect on the unconditional view of family obligations. How do you feel about the idea that children should always be there for their parents simply because they are parents?
  2. Consider the conditional view. How do you think the quality of parenting should influence the obligations children feel towards their parents?
  3. Discuss the friendship view proposed by Jane English. How does this perspective change your understanding of family obligations?
  4. What are your thoughts on the idea of the parent-child relationship as a contract? Do you agree with the notion that children don’t owe their parents anything for their upbringing?
  5. How do you perceive the role of love and care in forming family bonds, as opposed to genetic ties? Share your thoughts on this distinction.
  6. What is your opinion on the proposal of parenting licenses? Do you think this could be a viable solution to ensure responsible parenting?
  7. Reflect on the ethics of care. How do you balance the moral duties to your family with the responsibility to help those outside your immediate circle?
  8. After reading the article, how has your perspective on family obligations evolved? What new insights have you gained about your relationships with your parents?
  1. Debate the Three Views

    Divide into groups and debate the three views on obligations to parents: unconditional, conditional, and friendship. Each group should present arguments supporting their assigned view and challenge the others. Consider the implications of each perspective on family dynamics and societal norms.

  2. Role-Playing Scenarios

    Engage in role-playing activities where you act out different family scenarios based on the views discussed in the article. For example, portray a situation where a child must decide whether to support a parent financially. Reflect on how each philosophical view might influence the decision-making process.

  3. Create a Philosophical Dialogue

    Write a dialogue between two philosophers with opposing views on family obligations. Use the article’s concepts to guide the conversation. Focus on the arguments for and against the idea that adult children owe their parents something. Share your dialogues with the class and discuss the different perspectives.

  4. Research Parenting Licenses

    Investigate the concept of parenting licenses as proposed by Hugh LaFollette. Analyze the potential benefits and drawbacks of such a system. Present your findings in a report or presentation, considering how this idea might impact family obligations and societal expectations of parenting.

  5. Reflective Essay on Family Obligations

    Write a reflective essay on your personal views regarding family obligations. Consider how the philosophical perspectives discussed in the article influence your thoughts. Discuss whether you believe adult children owe their parents anything and why. Use examples from your own life or hypothetical situations to support your arguments.

ObligationsDuties or commitments that an individual is morally or legally bound to fulfill. – In philosophy, the concept of moral obligations often explores what individuals owe to each other in terms of ethical behavior.

ParentsIndividuals who have a moral and often legal responsibility to care for and nurture their children. – Philosophers debate the extent of obligations parents have towards their children and how these obligations shape ethical family dynamics.

FriendshipA mutual relationship between individuals that is characterized by trust, support, and shared values. – Aristotle considered friendship to be one of the highest forms of virtue, essential for a fulfilling life.

LoveAn intense feeling of deep affection, which can also be a central theme in ethical discussions about human relationships. – In ethical philosophy, love is often examined as a motivating force for altruistic behavior and moral decision-making.

EthicsThe branch of philosophy that deals with questions of morality, including what is right and wrong, good and bad. – Ethics provides a framework for evaluating human actions and guiding moral conduct in various situations.

CareThe practice of providing attention and support to others, often considered a fundamental ethical principle. – The ethics of care emphasizes the importance of interpersonal relationships and the moral significance of caring for others.

RelationshipsConnections or associations between individuals, which can be analyzed in terms of ethical obligations and moral values. – Philosophical discussions about relationships often focus on the balance between individual autonomy and mutual responsibilities.

PhilosophyThe study of fundamental questions about existence, knowledge, values, reason, and ethics. – Philosophy encourages critical thinking and the exploration of complex ethical dilemmas that challenge our understanding of the world.

SupportAssistance or encouragement provided to others, often considered an ethical duty in various relationships. – Ethical theories may explore the extent to which individuals are obligated to support others in their community.

ResponsibilityThe state or fact of having a duty to deal with something or of having control over someone. – In ethical discussions, responsibility is a key concept that addresses the accountability of individuals for their actions and decisions.

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