How to know what you really want | Luke Burgis

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The lesson on “Understanding Mimetic Desire” explores how human desires are often shaped by external influences rather than internal instincts, distinguishing between “thin” and “thick” desires. Thick desires are deeply rooted in our core values and shaped by significant figures in our lives, while thin desires are fleeting and easily swayed by external factors. By recognizing and reflecting on these desires, individuals can gain control over their pursuits and align their actions with their true selves for a more fulfilling life.

Understanding Mimetic Desire: A Guide for University Learners

Humans are unique creatures in that we often don’t know what we truly desire. Unlike animals, which act on instinct—eating when hungry or seeking warmth when cold—we have a complex array of abstract desires. These desires are not guided by any internal mechanism, making them different from our basic needs. If we could simply choose our desires at will, the world would be a vastly different place. But that’s not how desire works.

What is Mimetic Desire?

Mimetic desire refers to the idea that our desires are imitative. We look to others to understand what is worth wanting. This concept suggests a certain humility in recognizing that our desires are shaped by those around us, starting with our parents and childhood friends. This process continues into adulthood, becoming more subtle and hidden over time.

Thin vs. Thick Desires

Desires can be categorized into two types: thin and thick. Thick desires are like layers of rock, built up over our lives. They are shaped by influential models like our parents and admired figures from childhood. These desires are deeply connected to our core values and universal human truths such as truth, beauty, goodness, and dignity. Every person possesses these thick desires.

Thin desires, on the other hand, are highly mimetic and fleeting. They are like leaves that can be easily blown away by the winds of change. These desires are not deeply rooted and can change rapidly with new influences. Many people find that their career choices are driven by thin desires, leading them to switch paths multiple times before realizing they haven’t grounded their journey in thick desires.

Identifying and Controlling Desires

Recognizing the difference between thin and thick desires is crucial for gaining control over what we pursue. By identifying which desires are truly fulfilling and which are not, we can make more informed decisions about what to nurture and what to let go. In the hustle and bustle of daily life, we are constantly pulled in different directions. Without taking time to reflect, we may find ourselves pursuing desires that lead us to places we never intended to go.

Listening to our lives is essential for transformation. As Parker Palmer wisely said, “Before I can tell my life what I want to do with it, I have to listen to my life telling me who I am.” How many of us take the time to do this? To desire differently, we must explore our past for stories of meaningful and fulfilling experiences. By identifying patterns in these stories, we can uncover where our true fulfillment lies.

The Path to Transformation

While we often rush towards change and transformation, it’s important to first take the time to listen. By doing so, we can better understand our desires and align them with our true selves, leading to a more fulfilling life journey.

For more insights from the world’s leading thinkers, consider exploring resources like Big Think+ for your business.

  1. Reflect on a time when you realized that a desire you had was influenced by someone else. How did this realization impact your decision-making process?
  2. How do you differentiate between your thin and thick desires in your daily life, and what strategies do you use to focus on the latter?
  3. Can you identify a career or life choice that was driven by thin desires? How did you come to this realization, and what changes did you make as a result?
  4. Discuss a personal experience where listening to your life helped you uncover a deeper understanding of your true desires. What did you learn from this experience?
  5. How do you think mimetic desire affects your relationships with family and friends? Can you provide an example where this influence was particularly strong?
  6. In what ways do you think societal norms and media shape your desires? How do you critically assess these influences to ensure they align with your core values?
  7. What role do you believe self-reflection plays in transforming your desires? How often do you engage in this practice, and what methods do you find most effective?
  8. Consider the quote by Parker Palmer mentioned in the article. How do you interpret this in the context of your own life journey, and what steps are you taking to listen to your life more effectively?
  1. Reflective Journaling

    Take some time to write a reflective journal entry about your own desires. Identify which of your desires might be considered “thin” and which are “thick.” Consider how these desires have been influenced by people around you, such as family, friends, or societal figures. This exercise will help you gain clarity on what truly matters to you.

  2. Group Discussion

    Participate in a group discussion with your peers about the concept of mimetic desire. Share examples from your own life where you have noticed mimetic desire at play. Discuss how understanding this concept can impact your decision-making and personal growth.

  3. Case Study Analysis

    Analyze a case study of a well-known individual or historical figure whose desires were clearly influenced by mimetic desire. Examine how these desires shaped their life choices and outcomes. Present your findings to the class, highlighting the distinction between thin and thick desires.

  4. Role-Playing Exercise

    Engage in a role-playing exercise where you and your classmates simulate scenarios involving decision-making influenced by mimetic desire. Reflect on how different choices might lead to different life paths, and discuss the importance of aligning desires with personal values.

  5. Personal Desire Mapping

    Create a visual map of your desires, categorizing them into thin and thick desires. Use this map to identify patterns and influences in your life. Share your map with a partner and discuss strategies for nurturing your thick desires while managing or letting go of thin ones.

MimeticRelating to imitation or mimicry, often used to describe the way desires are formed by imitating the desires of others. – In philosophy, mimetic desire suggests that individuals often want things simply because others want them, leading to a cycle of imitation and rivalry.

DesireA strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen, often explored in philosophical and psychological contexts as a driving force of human behavior. – Philosophers like Plato have long debated whether desire is inherently irrational or if it can lead to the pursuit of higher truths.

ThinIn philosophical terms, a concept that is minimally defined and lacks detailed content, often contrasted with ‘thick’ concepts. – A thin concept like ‘good’ can be interpreted in various ways depending on the cultural or personal context.

ThickIn philosophy, a concept that is rich in descriptive content and often includes evaluative aspects, providing a more detailed understanding. – The concept of ‘courage’ is considered thick because it encompasses both the action and the moral evaluation of facing fear.

ValuesPrinciples or standards of behavior that are considered important in life, often discussed in both philosophical and psychological frameworks. – Understanding personal values is crucial in psychology for determining what motivates an individual’s actions and decisions.

FulfillmentThe achievement of something desired, promised, or predicted, often discussed in terms of personal satisfaction and self-actualization in psychology. – The pursuit of fulfillment is a central theme in existential philosophy, where individuals seek meaning in their lives.

TransformationA thorough or dramatic change in form or appearance, often used in psychology to describe personal growth and change. – Jungian psychology emphasizes the transformation of the self through the process of individuation.

PsychologyThe scientific study of the human mind and its functions, especially those affecting behavior in a given context. – Psychology provides insights into how cognitive biases can influence philosophical reasoning and decision-making.

PhilosophyThe study of the fundamental nature of knowledge, reality, and existence, especially when considered as an academic discipline. – Philosophy challenges students to critically examine their beliefs and the underlying assumptions of their worldview.

ChoicesDecisions made between two or more possibilities, often analyzed in philosophy and psychology in terms of free will and moral responsibility. – The concept of free will is central to philosophical debates about the nature of human choices and ethical accountability.

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