As your morning alarm blares, you might find yourself muttering, “Why did I set it so early?” While brushing your teeth, you ponder, “I need a haircut… unless?” Rushing out the front door, you reach for your keys, only to realize they’re not there. Frustrated, you exclaim, “I can’t do anything right!” just in time to notice your neighbor. Being caught talking to yourself can feel embarrassing, and some people even stigmatize this behavior as a sign of mental instability. However, decades of psychology research show that talking to yourself is completely normal. In fact, most, if not all, of us engage in some form of self-talk every single day.
Self-talk refers to the narration inside your head, sometimes called inner speech. It differs from mental imagery or recalling facts and figures. Psychologists define self-talk as verbalized thoughts directed toward yourself or some facet of your life. This includes personal conversations like “I need to work on my free throw” and reflections you have throughout the day, like “The gym is crowded tonight. I’ll come back tomorrow.” While most self-talk in adults tends to be silent, speaking to yourself out loud also falls into this category.
Psychologists believe our first experiences with self-talk are mostly vocal, as children often speak to themselves out loud as they play. In the 1930s, Russian psychologist Lev Vygotsky hypothesized that this kind of speech was actually key to development. By repeating conversations they’ve had with adults, children practice managing their behaviors and emotions on their own. As they grow older, this outward self-talk tends to become internalized, morphing into a private inner dialogue.
We know this internal self-talk is important and can help you plan, work through difficult situations, and even motivate you throughout the day. However, studying self-talk can be difficult as it relies on study subjects clearly tracking a behavior that’s spontaneous and often done without conscious control. Scientists are still working to answer basic questions like, why do some people self-talk more than others? What areas of the brain are activated during self-talk? And how does this activation differ from normal conversation?
One thing we know for certain, however, is that what you say in these conversations can have real impacts on your attitude and performance. Engaging in self-talk that’s instructional or motivational has been shown to increase focus, boost self-esteem, and help tackle everyday tasks. For example, one study of collegiate tennis players found that incorporating instructional self-talk into practice increased their concentration and accuracy. And just as chatting to a friend can help decrease stress, speaking directly to yourself may also help you regulate your emotions.
Distanced self-talk is when you talk to yourself, as if in conversation with another person. So, rather than “I’m going to crush this exam,” you might think, “Caleb, you are prepared for this test!” One study found that this kind of self-talk was especially beneficial for reducing stress when engaging in anxiety-inducing tasks, such as meeting new people or public speaking.
However, where positive self-talk can help you, negative self-talk can harm you. Most people are critical of themselves occasionally, but when this behavior gets too frequent or excessively negative, it can become toxic. High levels of negative self-talk are often predictive of anxiety in children and adults. And those who constantly blame themselves for their problems and ruminate on those situations typically experience more intense feelings of depression.
Today, there’s a field of psychological treatment called cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT, which is partially focused on regulating the tone of self-talk. Cognitive behavioral therapists often teach strategies to identify cycles of negative thoughts and replace them with neutral or more compassionate reflections. Over time, these tools can improve one’s mental health.
So the next time you find yourself chatting with yourself, remember to be kind. That inner voice is a partner you’ll be talking to for many years to come.
Keep a journal for one week where you write down instances of self-talk you notice throughout your day. Reflect on whether your self-talk was positive, negative, or neutral. At the end of the week, share your observations with the class and discuss how different types of self-talk made you feel.
In pairs, create and act out short skits where one person uses positive self-talk and the other uses negative self-talk in various situations (e.g., preparing for a test, playing a sport). Discuss how each type of self-talk might affect the outcome and feelings of the characters.
Create a piece of art that represents positive self-talk. Use drawings, colors, and words that make you feel good about yourself. Display your artwork in the classroom and explain how it helps you remember to use positive self-talk.
Practice a short mindfulness exercise where you focus on your breathing and observe your thoughts without judgment. Afterward, write down any self-talk you noticed during the exercise. Discuss how mindfulness can help you become more aware of your self-talk and how to regulate it.
Set a personal goal for the week and write down positive self-talk statements that will help you achieve it. For example, if your goal is to finish a book, you might write, “I can read a little each day and enjoy the story.” Share your goal and self-talk statements with a partner and encourage each other throughout the week.
battle – a violent confrontation between armed forces – The soldiers prepared for battle as they lined up on the battlefield.
Mughal Empire – a powerful empire that ruled over the Indian subcontinent from the 16th to the 19th century – The Mughal Empire was known for its rich cultural heritage and impressive architectural structures.
war elephants – elephants that were trained and used in warfare – The use of war elephants gave the ancient armies a significant advantage on the battlefield.
cannons – large, heavy artillery guns used in warfare – The cannons fired with a deafening boom, causing havoc among the enemy ranks.
muskets – a type of long-barreled firearm used in the 16th to 18th centuries – The soldiers relied on their muskets to engage in long-range combat during the war.
empire – an extensive group of territories and peoples under a single supreme authority – The Roman Empire was one of the largest empires in history, stretching across three continents.
descendants – people who are descended from a particular ancestor or group – The descendants of the Mayan civilization still carry on their rich traditions and cultural practices.
Akbar – the third Mughal emperor known for his religious tolerance and administrative reforms – Akbar’s reign is often considered the golden age of the Mughal Empire.
conquests – the act of gaining control over a territory through military force – The Mongol Empire was known for its vast conquests and rapid expansion.
architectural achievements – impressive and notable structures or buildings created by architects – The Taj Mahal is one of the greatest architectural achievements of the Mughal Empire.
