Kierkegaard on Love

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In “Works of Love,” Søren Kierkegaard critiques the contemporary understanding of romantic love, advocating for a broader, more inclusive concept of love rooted in Christian principles. He distinguishes between true love, which encompasses empathy and forgiveness for all, and preferential love, which is often selfish and exclusive. Kierkegaard’s philosophy encourages us to transcend superficial criteria in our relationships and embrace a more compassionate approach to loving others, regardless of their perceived worthiness.

Understanding Love Through the Lens of Søren Kierkegaard

Søren Kierkegaard, a Danish existential philosopher, offers a fascinating perspective on love in his book “Works of Love,” published in 1847. At just 34 years old, Kierkegaard challenged the common ideas about love during his time, which are surprisingly similar to how we view love today.

The Misconception of Romantic Love

Kierkegaard believed that many people misunderstand love, even though they talk about it often. In the early 19th century, romantic love became popular in Europe, focusing on the idealization of one person with whom we seek a deep connection. Kierkegaard critiqued this narrow view, suggesting it limits our understanding of love. He argued that love is not just the thrill we feel around someone attractive or successful.

Christian Love vs. Romantic Love

Kierkegaard advocated for a return to a more demanding form of Christian love, which requires us to love everyone, especially those we might think don’t deserve it. He differentiated between “kærlighed” (true love) and “elskov” (erotic love). True love, according to Kierkegaard, involves loving those who are hard to love—those who might annoy us or seem undeserving. This kind of love demands imagination and empathy to understand how someone became who they are.

The Role of Forgiveness and Justice

Kierkegaard criticized the shift from Christian forgiveness to a focus on justice, which he saw as harsh and overly rational. He believed that if everyone got exactly what they deserved, the world would be unbearable. The relentless pursuit of justice can lead to intolerance and harsh punishment. Instead, Kierkegaard promoted kindness and understanding, emphasizing that love should go beyond mere justice.

The Ladder of Love

Kierkegaard introduced the idea of a “ladder of love,” starting with loving those who love us, then those who do not, followed by those who persecute us, and ultimately, loving everyone without exception. He criticized people who claim they can’t find someone to love, pointing out that there are countless people worthy of love if we open our hearts.

The Selfishness of Preferential Love

Kierkegaard noted that romantic love often involves a kind of snobbishness, where people use strict criteria to choose a partner. This selective love is like a caste system, separating people by superficial differences. True Christian love, he argued, goes beyond these boundaries and includes everyone, even those who are corrupt or powerful.

Love as an Imitation of Christ

Kierkegaard emphasized that being a Christian means imitating Christ, who loved his disciple Peter despite Peter’s mistakes. Love, Kierkegaard argued, should not depend on a person’s behavior. Instead, it should be a force that helps people become better versions of themselves.

The Relevance of Kierkegaard’s Philosophy Today

Kierkegaard’s writings on love challenge us to rethink our understanding of love. His message is still relevant, urging us to move beyond the search for “the one” and embrace a more inclusive and forgiving approach to love. By doing so, we can begin to understand what true love requires of us.

Further Exploration

If you’re interested in exploring the complexities of love further, consider looking into resources that examine how our early experiences shape our perceptions of love and the types of partners we seek. Understanding these influences can provide valuable insights into how we can cultivate more meaningful and compassionate relationships.

  1. How does Kierkegaard’s distinction between “kærlighed” (true love) and “elskov” (erotic love) challenge your current understanding of love?
  2. In what ways do you think Kierkegaard’s idea of loving those who are difficult to love can be applied in today’s society?
  3. Reflect on a time when you prioritized justice over forgiveness. How might Kierkegaard’s perspective on love and forgiveness have influenced your actions?
  4. Consider Kierkegaard’s “ladder of love.” How do you think this concept can change the way we approach relationships with people who are different from us?
  5. Have you ever experienced or witnessed the “selfishness of preferential love” as described by Kierkegaard? How did it affect the relationships involved?
  6. How does Kierkegaard’s idea of love as an imitation of Christ resonate with your personal beliefs or experiences?
  7. What aspects of Kierkegaard’s philosophy on love do you find most relevant to modern relationships, and why?
  8. How might understanding the influences of early experiences on our perceptions of love help us cultivate more meaningful relationships, according to Kierkegaard’s philosophy?
  1. Reflective Journaling on Love

    Write a reflective journal entry exploring your personal understanding of love. Consider Kierkegaard’s distinction between romantic and Christian love. How do these concepts align or differ from your own experiences and beliefs? This activity will help you internalize Kierkegaard’s ideas and relate them to your life.

  2. Group Discussion: The Ladder of Love

    Participate in a group discussion about Kierkegaard’s “ladder of love.” Discuss the challenges and implications of loving those who do not love us back or who may even persecute us. This will encourage you to engage with different perspectives and deepen your understanding of inclusive love.

  3. Role-Playing Scenarios

    Engage in role-playing exercises where you act out scenarios involving difficult relationships. Practice applying Kierkegaard’s principles of love and forgiveness. This hands-on activity will help you develop empathy and explore how to extend love beyond preferential boundaries.

  4. Research and Presentation

    Research a contemporary issue related to justice and forgiveness. Prepare a presentation that connects Kierkegaard’s views on love and justice to modern-day contexts. This will enhance your research skills and ability to apply philosophical concepts to real-world situations.

  5. Creative Expression: Art or Poetry

    Create a piece of art or write a poem that captures the essence of Kierkegaard’s philosophy of love. Use this creative outlet to express your interpretation of true love and its challenges. Sharing your work with peers can foster a deeper appreciation for diverse expressions of love.

LoveA profound and selfless affection and care for others, often considered a central virtue in many philosophical and religious traditions. – In Plato’s philosophy, love is seen as a motivating force that drives individuals towards the pursuit of truth and beauty.

KierkegaardA Danish philosopher known for his contributions to existentialism and theology, emphasizing the importance of individual choice and faith. – Kierkegaard argued that true faith requires a “leap of faith,” transcending rationality and embracing the paradoxes of Christianity.

ChristianRelating to the religion based on the teachings of Jesus Christ, emphasizing principles such as love, forgiveness, and redemption. – The Christian doctrine of the Trinity is a central tenet that has been the subject of extensive theological debate.

ForgivenessThe act of pardoning an offender, often seen as a moral and spiritual practice that promotes healing and reconciliation. – In many religious traditions, forgiveness is considered a divine attribute that humans are encouraged to emulate.

JusticeThe principle of fairness and moral rightness, often discussed in philosophy as a fundamental virtue and societal goal. – Philosophers like John Rawls have explored the concept of justice as fairness, proposing principles for structuring a just society.

ImaginationThe faculty of forming new ideas and concepts not present to the senses, often seen as crucial for philosophical inquiry and creativity. – Immanuel Kant argued that imagination plays a key role in synthesizing sensory data into coherent experiences.

EmpathyThe ability to understand and share the feelings of others, often considered essential for moral development and ethical decision-making. – Empathy is a central theme in the philosophy of ethics, as it fosters compassion and moral responsibility.

RomanticRelating to the Romantic movement, which emphasized emotion, individualism, and the sublime in reaction to Enlightenment rationalism. – Romantic philosophers like Rousseau celebrated the natural world and the authenticity of human emotions.

TrueIn accordance with fact or reality, often discussed in philosophy in terms of truth theories and epistemology. – The correspondence theory of truth posits that statements are true if they accurately reflect the external world.

RelationshipsThe connections and associations between individuals, often explored in philosophy and religion as fundamental to human existence and ethics. – Martin Buber’s philosophy of dialogue emphasizes the importance of genuine relationships in achieving authentic existence.

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