Welcome to an insightful exploration of practical psychology tips, featuring insights from Dr. Ali Mattu, a clinical psychologist and creator of The Psych Show. This article delves into everyday strategies that can enhance your social interactions and boost your self-esteem, while also considering the challenges faced by individuals with social anxiety or on the autism spectrum.
When meeting new people, asking them questions about themselves can significantly enhance your likability. This approach not only shows genuine interest but also helps ease the initial awkwardness of starting a conversation. Dr. Mattu rates this tip a perfect five out of five, emphasizing its effectiveness in making social interactions smoother.
If you often find yourself apologizing, consider replacing some of those apologies with expressions of gratitude. This shift can improve your self-esteem and positively impact your interactions. While this change may be challenging, acknowledging the habit is the first step toward alleviating tension. Dr. Mattu rates this tip a three out of five due to its difficulty but acknowledges its potential benefits.
Many people underestimate how much others like them, a phenomenon known as the ‘liking gap.’ Dr. Mattu advises not to worry excessively about others’ perceptions, especially if you feel you’ve said the wrong thing. For those with social anxiety, the challenge lies in avoiding the tendency to “mind read” and assume negative judgments from others. Finding a community of like-minded individuals can help you realize that people often appreciate you more than you think. This tip receives a full five out of five from Dr. Mattu.
Engaging in acts of kindness can enhance your mood and contribute to overall happiness. However, for individuals with depression, this strategy should be balanced with other techniques like self-soothing and engaging activities. Dr. Mattu rates this tip a four out of five, highlighting its potential when combined with other supportive strategies.
When expressing gratitude, focus on praising others specifically rather than yourself. For instance, say, “Thank you, Ali, for your time and expertise,” instead of “Thanks for making this easy for me.” Dr. Mattu appreciates this tip, giving it a five out of five, and notes the importance of specific praise. However, he also acknowledges that receiving praise can be challenging for those with social anxiety, making effective communication crucial.
This conversation with Dr. Ali Mattu offers valuable insights into enhancing social interactions and self-esteem through practical psychology tips. By understanding and applying these strategies, you can navigate social situations more effectively and foster personal growth. Thank you for engaging with these topics and contributing to this enriching dialogue.
Engage in role-playing exercises where you practice meeting new people and asking them questions about themselves. This will help you become more comfortable with initiating conversations and show genuine interest in others. Pair up with a classmate and take turns being the initiator and responder.
Start a gratitude journal where you replace apologies with expressions of gratitude. Reflect on situations where you might have apologized and instead write down what you are thankful for. Share your experiences in a group discussion to understand the impact of this shift on your self-esteem and interactions.
Conduct a small survey among your peers to explore the ‘liking gap.’ Ask them to rate how much they think others like them and compare it to how much others actually do. Discuss the findings in class to better understand this phenomenon and its implications on social anxiety.
Participate in an acts of kindness challenge where you perform at least one kind act each day for a week. Document your experiences and reflect on how these acts affect your mood and overall happiness. Share your reflections with the class to inspire others.
Engage in an exercise where you practice giving specific praise to your classmates. Focus on acknowledging their contributions and efforts in a detailed manner. This will help you improve your communication skills and understand the importance of specific praise in social interactions.
Here’s a sanitized version of the provided YouTube transcript:
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This episode is sponsored in part by Curiosity Stream.
Hey! I was just wondering, how have you been? What was the best thing that happened to you this year? And what are you most looking forward to over the holidays? Keep these questions in mind because when you meet new people, you should ask them more questions about themselves. This can help you come across as more likable.
If you’re anything like me and find yourself apologizing often, try replacing half of those apologies with expressions of gratitude. This simple shift can boost your self-esteem. These are just a few everyday psychology tips that I’ve shared on BrainCraft this year. For many, these tips have come at the right time, but for others, they may seem challenging due to different experiences of the world.
So, is there a way to boost your self-esteem if you struggle with constant apologies? How do you interact with new people if making eye contact is difficult? For someone with anxiety or on the autism spectrum, entering social situations can feel very different.
I turned to my friend, Dr. Ali Mattu, a clinical psychologist and creator of The Psych Show, to get his insights on these tips and to help fill in any gaps.
He suggests not to worry too much about what others think, especially if you feel you’ve said the wrong thing. People often underestimate how much others like them and enjoy their company—a phenomenon known as ‘the liking gap.’ This is particularly true for most people. However, for those with social anxiety, the challenge lies in the tendency to “mind read” and assume others view them negatively.
If we were to rate this tip out of five, I would say it’s around three and a half.
Dr. Mattu emphasizes the importance of finding your community—people who share your interests. When we connect with those who appreciate us, we often realize that most people like us more than we think. With that context, he rates this tip a full five out of five.
Tip number two: Doing something kind for others can improve your mood. While many people desire happiness, acts of kindness often don’t make it onto daily to-do lists. Incorporating kindness into your routine can be beneficial. However, for those with depression, this skill alone may not suffice. It needs to be balanced with other strategies, such as self-soothing and engaging activities.
Given these nuances, Dr. Mattu rates this tip a four out of five.
Tip number three: When you first meet someone, asking them questions about themselves can make you more likable. This is a solid tip, and Dr. Mattu gives it a five out of five. Starting conversations can be challenging for anyone, so having a few questions prepared can help ease the process.
Tip number four: If you find yourself apologizing frequently, it can negatively impact both you and the person you’re apologizing to. Try replacing some of those apologies with expressions of gratitude. While changing this habit can be tough, acknowledging it can help alleviate some of the tension. Dr. Mattu rates this tip a three out of five due to its difficulty.
Tip number five: When expressing gratitude, focus on praising others rather than yourself. For example, say, “Thank you, Ali, for your time and expertise,” instead of “Thanks for making this easy for me.” Dr. Mattu loves this tip and gives it a five out of five, noting that specific praise is essential.
However, he also points out that receiving praise can be challenging for those with social anxiety, so it’s important to communicate effectively.
I appreciate this conversation and the insights shared. Thank you for engaging with these topics and for your community’s thoughtful questions. This dialogue is how we all learn and grow.
And if you need a break from social interactions, this video is sponsored by Curiosity Stream, a subscription streaming service with thousands of documentaries and non-fiction titles. I recommend starting with “Redesign My Brain,” which is fascinating and from Australia!
For a limited time, if you sign up for Curiosity Stream, you’ll receive a bundle with Nebula, a new streaming service featuring educational creators. You can get unlimited access to both starting at just $2.99 a month, and the first month is free if you sign up at curiositystream.com/braincraft and use the promo code ‘braincraft.’
Thanks!
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This version removes any informal language, personal anecdotes, and promotional content while maintaining the essence of the discussion.
Psychology – The scientific study of the human mind and its functions, especially those affecting behavior in a given context. – In her psychology class, Maria learned about the different theories of personality development.
Social – Relating to society or its organization, and the interactions between individuals within it. – The social dynamics of the group changed significantly after the new member joined.
Interactions – The reciprocal action or influence between people or things. – The professor emphasized the importance of social interactions in the development of cognitive skills.
Self-esteem – An individual’s subjective evaluation of their own worth. – Building self-esteem is crucial for adolescents as they navigate through various social challenges.
Anxiety – A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome. – The study explored the impact of academic pressure on students’ anxiety levels.
Gratitude – The quality of being thankful and the readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. – Practicing gratitude has been shown to improve overall mental health and well-being.
Kindness – The quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. – Acts of kindness can significantly enhance the sense of community within a group.
Praise – The expression of approval or admiration for someone or something. – Effective praise can boost a student’s motivation and engagement in the classroom.
Community – A group of people living in the same place or having a particular characteristic in common, often sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals. – The university fosters a strong sense of community through various clubs and organizations.
Growth – The process of developing or maturing physically, mentally, or spiritually. – Personal growth often involves overcoming challenges and learning from experiences.
