ClassX Video Lessons Youtube Channel Teaching Without Frills Realistic Fiction Writing for Kids Episode 6: Revising Your Story
Hey there! Today, we’re going to learn about making our stories even better by revising them. Revising means looking at what you’ve written and thinking about how you can improve it. You can add new details, take out parts that don’t fit, or change words to make your story more exciting. Let’s see how we can do this!
Here’s the beginning of my story: “One winter day, Mary was cuddled up on the couch with her dog, Sam. ‘Swish! Wow, it sounds like a blizzard outside,’ said Mary. Sam ran to the door and barked to go outside. ‘Okay, okay,’ said Mary. She put on her heavy coat and Sam’s leash, and they walked outside into the snow.”
Hmm, I think I should explain what “swish” means. I’ll add, “The wind gusted against the windows.” And instead of saying “They walked outside into the snow,” I’ll say, “They walked outside into the frigid snow.” Doesn’t that sound more interesting?
Next, let’s look at the next part: “Brrrrrr, it’s so cold!” Mary said. Snow was falling down from the sky. Mary and Sam started walking down the sidewalk. The snow began falling harder and harder. “Uh oh, we better go back home,” Mary said. Mary and Sam turned around and started walking quickly back towards their house. All of a sudden, Mary slipped on an icy patch on the sidewalk. She fell to the ground and dropped Sam’s leash. “Oh no!” she said. Sam excitedly took off running as fast as he could. Mary hopped back up and tried to catch him, but he was way too fast. “Come back, Sam!”
Oh, I used the word “said” a lot. Let’s change it up! When Mary dropped the leash, instead of just saying “oh no,” I’ll write “Oh no!” she cried. That makes it sound more exciting!
Finally, here’s how the story ends: “Suddenly, Mary saw her friend Carlos walk around the corner. He was walking home from the grocery store. ‘Carlos, can you help me? Sam is loose!’ Carlos had a great idea. He pulled out a donut from his grocery bag. ‘Come here, Sam!’ Sam sniffed the air and ran right to him. ‘Thank you so much, Carlos!’ Mary was so relieved. ‘Next time, we need to be way more careful in the snow.’
Instead of saying Carlos had a “great” idea, I’ll say he had a “clever” idea. That makes the sentence sound more interesting!
Did you see how I reread my story and made changes to make it even better? It helps to go through this process a few times. Keep rereading and revising, and your story will be your very best work. Thanks for learning with me about realistic fiction writing! If you want to learn more, check out the Teaching Without Frills YouTube channel for more writing videos.
Story Detective: Become a story detective and find a book or a short story you like. Read a paragraph and think about how you could make it more exciting. Can you add more details or change some words to make it more interesting? Share your new version with a friend or family member and see what they think!
Word Swap Game: With a partner, choose a simple sentence from your story. Each of you should take turns swapping one word in the sentence with a more exciting or descriptive word. For example, change “walked” to “strolled” or “ran” to “dashed.” See how many different versions you can come up with and decide which one makes the story sound the best.
Illustrate Your Story: Draw a picture of a scene from your story before and after you revise it. Notice how adding more details or changing words can help you imagine and illustrate the scene better. Share your drawings with the class and explain how your revisions made the scene more vivid or exciting.
**Sanitized Transcript:**
**Realistic Fiction Writing for Kids – Episode 6: Revising**
I’m writing a realistic fiction story. I’ve written an entire draft, including an introduction, events, the problem, solution, and a closing, but I’m not quite finished yet. It’s important to revise your writing. Revising means changing your writing to make it even better. You can revise by adding to your story, taking away from your story, or changing parts of your story. But first, you have to reread your writing and think about what would make this story easier to read and what would make it more interesting.
Here’s my introduction: “One winter day, Mary was cuddled up on the couch with her dog, Sam. ‘Swish! Wow, it sounds like a blizzard outside,’ said Mary. Sam ran to the door and barked to go outside. ‘Okay, okay,’ said Mary. She put on her heavy coat and Sam’s leash, and they walked outside into the snow.” Hmm, maybe I should explain what that “swish” was. I’ll add, “The wind gusted against the windows.” And that last sentence, “They walked outside into the snow,” I think I want to add something to emphasize how cold it was, but I don’t want to use a boring word like “cold.” Hmm, how about “frigid”? “They walked outside into the frigid snow.” Much better!
Here’s my next page: “Brrrrrr, it’s so cold!” Mary said. Snow was falling down from the sky. Mary and Sam started walking down the sidewalk. The snow began falling harder and harder. “Uh oh, we better go back home,” Mary said. Mary and Sam turned around and started walking quickly back towards their house. All of a sudden, Mary slipped on an icy patch on the sidewalk. She fell to the ground and dropped Sam’s leash. “Oh no!” she said. Sam excitedly took off running as fast as he could. Mary hopped back up and tried to catch him, but he was way too fast. “Come back, Sam!” Gosh, I used the word “said” three times on this page. You know, when she dropped the leash, she didn’t just say “oh no.” How about “Oh no!” she cried. That’s better!
Here’s my closing: “Suddenly, Mary saw her friend Carlos walk around the corner. He was walking home from the grocery store. ‘Carlos, can you help me? Sam is loose!’ Carlos had a great idea. He pulled out a donut from his grocery bag. ‘Come here, Sam!’ Sam sniffed the air and ran right to him. ‘Thank you so much, Carlos!’ Mary was so relieved. ‘Next time, we need to be way more careful in the snow.’ Hmm, Carlos had a great idea. I think I can think of a better word than ‘great.’ How about ‘clever’? ‘Carlos had a clever idea.’ That makes the sentence sound more interesting.
Did you see how I reread my story and made changes to make it even better? It helps to go through this process a few times. Keep rereading and revising, and your story will be your very best work. Thanks for watching this series on realistic fiction writing! Check out the Teaching Without Frills YouTube channel for more writing videos.
