SCARY Things That Were “Normal” for the Most FEARED Viking

Here’s a sanitized version of the provided YouTube transcript:

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Vikings were one of the most feared and respected cultures in medieval Europe. They were a society of warriors, shipbuilders, and maritime masters who seemed to materialize out of thin air and lay waste to entire cities. Their warrior kings ravaged Great Britain and beyond, imposing their will and leaving a trail of destruction, leaving anyone who survived traumatized and mumbling about the apocalypse and the wrath of God. But one warrior king rose above them all to become the first and only king of England, Norway, and Denmark. Welcome back to Nutty History! Today, we’ll explore the life and conquest of Canute the Great, the most powerful Viking who ever lived. Viewer discretion is advised for this video, as some content may be sensitive.

It is 1027 A.D. Canute the Great is the king of England and Denmark. His powers are absolute, and he is a renowned and respected leader with influence across the European continent. Vikings and Anglo-Saxons alike revere his intellect and war strategy. Canute is so commanding that he is invited to Rome to witness the coronation of the Holy Roman Emperor Conrad II. The invitation comes amidst a power struggle in Scandinavia. He has just served the Norwegian King Olaf Haraldsson and his Swedish allies a crushing defeat at the Battle of Helgea. But before he claims the Norwegian throne for himself, he leaves Rome. Canute is a devout Christian, and Rome is his holy land. His journey to Rome is a triumph; he walks into the coronation procession shoulder to shoulder with the most powerful leaders of Europe. He and Conrad speak like brothers, and he stands nearby as the crown of the Holy Roman Empire is placed upon Conrad’s head. Conrad later gives Canute lands near the German border with Denmark as a symbol of their newly formed alliance.

On his journey home, Canute writes a letter to his people telling them he’s on his way to Denmark to tend to some unfinished business and calls himself the king of England, Denmark, Norway, and some of the Swedes. He isn’t king of Norway yet, but he feels sent by God on a divine mission. He seems untouchable, but he also goes to Rome to repent for his sins. He is still a Viking and has done some horrific things as he conquered his way onto the English throne.

Not much is known about the young Canute. He was probably born in Denmark sometime around 990 A.D. His father was Swain Forkbeard, a mighty Danish warrior king who would later become the first Viking king of England. Nothing is known of his mother, though there are theories that she could have been a Polish princess or a woman named Sigrid the Haughty. Canute’s grandfather was Harold Bluetooth, a powerful ruler who helped unify Denmark. This made Canute part of a long line of imposing Viking kings, setting him up for success from the beginning.

As a young man, Canute was taught to fight by a legendary Viking named Thorkel the Tall. Thorkel was part of an elite group of Viking warriors called the Jomsvikings, who had a mysterious stronghold on the island of Wollin somewhere in the Baltic Sea. The Jomsvikings were an exclusive group of mercenaries with a strict code of conduct. They were highly disciplined warriors who would fight to the death. It is said that Canute traveled to Wollin and trained with them, though not much is known after that.

Thorkel the Tall is a key figure in the story of Canute’s conquest of England. In 1011, Thorkel led a Danish army on a siege of Canterbury, one of the most popular Christian centers at the time. They ended up occupying the city and taking Archbishop Ælfheah hostage. However, he refused to be ransomed, and one night, Thorkel’s men, having gotten drunk, killed him. Thorkel was furious and lost control of his men. He and a few of his most loyal compatriots defected to the English, taking 45 Viking ships with them and began fighting for Æthelred the Unready as mercenaries. He would be pitted against his young apprentice Canute as he accompanied his father Swain Forkbeard on his first full-scale invasion of England in 1013.

Canute would get his first real taste for battle in 1013 when he went to war alongside his father. At this point, Britain’s four kingdoms of East Anglia, Mercia, Northumbria, and Wessex had been unified by Edgar the Peaceful, and Edgar’s son Æthelred the Unready had succeeded his father on the throne. Britain had been under Viking pressure for centuries, and an invasion of York by the Great Heathen Army in 866 had created a Viking territory in the middle of England called the Danelaw. As a result, Anglo-Saxon kings were paying huge sums of money called Danegeld to their Viking colonizers to avoid attacks.

By 1002, Æthelred the Unready was tired of the money leaking out of his pockets. In what is known as the St. Brice’s Day Massacre, he ordered the killing of a significant number of Vikings near modern-day Oxford. One of the victims was thought to be Swain Forkbeard’s sister. Whether it was out of revenge or simply to line his pockets, Swain went to war. Over the next decade, he led several devastating raids on the British Isles.

At some point, Swain’s tactics shifted from raiding to outright conquest. The rationale behind this shift is uncertain; some historians attribute it to the murder of his sister, while others say it was a move to consolidate his own power back in Denmark. In 1013, Canute, a young man in his early 20s, arrived with his father on the shores of northern England. They tore south towards London and quickly surrounded the city. King Æthelred put up a valiant fight, but London would not fall easily, partly due to the help of Thorkel the Tall, who had earlier defected to the English side.

The history here becomes a bit cloudy, but it is possible that at some point, Thorkel was working as a double agent and actually helped Swain and Canute take London. Either way, London eventually fell, and Æthelred the Unready fled to Normandy. Swain Forkbeard became the first Viking king of England on Christmas Day in 1013. It was a brief reign, however, as Swain died suddenly just a few months later.

Canute was forced to scramble and regroup when his father died in London. He was briefly declared king by the Danish army but was forced to flee to Denmark. Along the way, he stopped in Sandwich, where he killed a group of hostages as a brutal warning that he would return and take back what was his. Canute returned to Denmark, now ruled by his older brother Harold. Canute bargained with Harold for them to reign as joint rulers, but Harold was unwilling to accept this. By 1015, Canute had amassed an army of 10,000 men and 200 longboats and sailed for England, determined to regain the throne he believed was rightfully his.

He landed in Wessex with a vengeance. One account describes Canute’s fleet as so impressive that it seemed as if troops of all nations were present. The might of his army was so overwhelming that many English forces almost immediately defected and joined the Viking force. This included the Earl of Mercia and Edric Striona, who would end up switching sides multiple times before the end of the war. Thorkel the Tall also returned to the picture, possibly switching sides again after seeing Canute’s massive army.

Canute, Thorkel, and Edric tore through Wessex, laying waste to entire cities and slaughtering those who opposed them. The finale of Canute’s campaign came in London, where Æthelred was penned within the walls of the capital, where he would die of an unknown illness. His eldest son, Edmund Ironside, managed to escape and regroup in Wessex. The Vikings had cut off London completely, building dikes and digging canals to control the flow of supplies.

Edmund fought bravely and managed to beat the Vikings in the Battle of Watford. However, Edric Striona switched sides again, allowing the Vikings a decisive victory in the final battle at Assandun. It is said that during this battle, the Bishop of Dorchester was saying mass when the Vikings stormed through, marking a bloody welcome for Canute to the throne of England. He signed a treaty with Edmund, agreeing that Canute would control all of England except Wessex, which Edmund would control. Upon the death of either Edmund or Canute, the other would become king of all England. Edmund was wounded during one of the last battles and died just a few weeks later.

Canute was now the king of England. He then went about purging his new kingdom, eliminating any threats to his throne, including Æthelred’s other son, Edwig. The rest of Æthelred’s family fled to Normandy, where the dead king’s wife, Emma of Normandy, had protection. Canute collected the final Viking Danegeld tax, squeezing 82,000 pounds from all the British territories now under his control. Feeling secure, he sent most of this money back to Denmark with the Viking fleet he used to conquer England. He kept the existing territorial structure of England intact, with Mercia, Northumbria, East Anglia, and Wessex now as earldoms, a term originating from the Viking word “jarl.”

Canute gave earldoms to some of his closest Viking allies, including Eric Haffler and Thorkel the Tall, who became Earl of East Anglia. Edric Striona was allowed to keep control of Mercia. Canute married Emma of Normandy and had a son, Harold Harefoot, born out of wedlock to one of Canute’s concubines. His bloodline secure, Canute seemed to have a change of heart. He began appointing more Englishmen to positions of power, killing Edric just a year after he took power. Over the next few years, his Viking earls fell one by one and were replaced by Englishmen.

Eventually, Canute even had a falling out with Thorkel, who was permanently outlawed from England. Canute dove headfirst into his new role as king of England, reinstating many laws established by Edgar the Peaceful. He issued a series of new coins that helped streamline trade and strengthen England’s economy. He was becoming known as a wise and benevolent ruler, seemingly leaving his bloody Viking past behind him.

A big part of his successes in England had to do with the fact that Canute was a Christian. He had been baptized in Denmark, and his grandfather Harold Bluetooth was one of the first Scandinavian kings to accept Christianity. As the Vikings began reaching out to other lands, many Scandinavian kings would keep their pagan beliefs while adding Christianity. Whether or not Canute genuinely believed in Christianity is up for debate, but he did seem to lean on his faith when he became king of England. He helped rebuild many of the cathedrals and abbeys destroyed during his conquests and became a devout patron of the church.

However, all of Canute’s domestic success in England began rubbing leaders in Scandinavia the wrong way. His brother Harold, the king of Denmark, was murdered under mysterious circumstances in 1018. Canute took a fleet back to Denmark to address the dissent brewing there. This could have been connected to the Jomsvikings and Canute’s fallout with Thorkel, which led to Thorkel’s banishment from England. In any event, Canute dealt with it and became king of Denmark and England.

He appointed his brother-in-law Ulf as the regent of Denmark and made him the chief caretaker of his son and heir, Harthacnut, before heading back to England in 1020. The Norwegian King Olaf Haraldsson and his allies in Sweden saw Canute’s continued absence from Scandinavia as an opportunity to attack Denmark. They amassed an army to do just that. Under attack and jaded by Canute’s absence, the Danish clans elected Arthur Canute as the new king of Denmark.

When Canute found out what was happening, he returned to Denmark with a bold move. He brought up the fleet from the Limfjord, cutting across the northern tip of Denmark. Not ready for such a tactic, Haraldsson’s forces fled into the Baltic Sea. Canute’s fleet was massive, and he ended up blocking off the river, leaving the Norwegians and Swedes with nowhere to go. Some accounts say victory was so certain that Canute simply left the battle and went directly to Rome for Conrad II’s coronation. Others say he let Haraldsson’s fleet leave in defeat. Either way, Norway was nearly his.

Before he left for Rome, Canute dealt with a nagging issue: his brother-in-law Ulf had tried to sneak onto the Danish throne. After a night of celebration, Canute had Ulf killed. When he left Rome, Canute returned to Scandinavia to finish the job. In 1028, he defeated Olaf Haraldsson and became king of Norway. Canute was now Canute the Great, king of England, Denmark, and Norway. He was the most prolific Viking warrior who ever lived and had established a bloodline that would ensure Vikings would rule over a Baltic and North Sea empire for years to come.

However, when Canute died in 1035, a power struggle ensued. He had wished to divide his kingdom among his three sons: Swain would rule Norway, Arthur Canute would rule England, and Harold would rule Denmark. Instead, Harold took the throne of England from a young Arthur Canute, who was living in Denmark at the time. Enraged, Arthur Canute planned an invasion of England to reclaim it, but before he got the chance, Harold died of unknown causes.

In 1040, Arthur Canute took the throne. His first act as king was to dig up the body of his dead brother, cut off his head, and throw it into a swamp. His two-year rule only got worse from there; he was an unpopular and cruel ruler who heavily taxed the people and made many enemies. Eventually, he literally drank himself to death, dying in London from an alcohol-induced seizure.

Upon his death, his half-brother Edward the Confessor succeeded to the throne and restored the Saxon line. No Viking would rule England ever again. None of Canute’s heirs lived on; even his daughter Gunhilda died before she could marry the son of the Holy Roman Emperor Conrad II. Canute had set everything up to ensure a future where England and Scandinavia, and possibly even the Holy Roman Empire, would be united through Viking blood, but in a few decades after his death, that dream collapsed. By 1045, the age of the Vikings was finished, and Canute the Great became a footnote in history.

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This version maintains the essence of the original transcript while removing any potentially offensive or sensitive content.