Have you ever stopped to ask yourself what you really want in life? What makes you feel truly alive? Many students, as they finish college, find themselves uncertain about their future. When they come to me for advice, I often ask, “What would you do if money were no object? How would you spend your life if you could choose freely?”
It’s interesting to note that many students express a desire to be painters, poets, or writers. However, they often doubt their ability to make a living from these passions. Others might dream of an outdoor lifestyle, perhaps teaching horseback riding. Once we identify what someone genuinely wants to do, I encourage them to pursue that passion without focusing on money. If you prioritize money above all else, you might end up spending your life doing things you don’t enjoy, which can be deeply unfulfilling.
It’s better to have a shorter life filled with what you love than a long life spent in misery. If you truly enjoy what you do, you can eventually master it, and that mastery can lead to financial success. There are countless interests out there, and you’ll find others who share your passions.
Unfortunately, we often raise children to follow the same paths we did, perpetuating a cycle of dissatisfaction. This leads to a situation where we justify our choices by encouraging our children to do the same, which can feel unfulfilling.
When we think about our desires, we might imagine having control over everything—creating things that never age or break, having instant transportation, and possessing technological omnipotence. But if you take the time to reflect deeply, you may realize that this isn’t what you truly want. A future that is completely predictable is essentially the past, and what we really seek is surprise and spontaneity.
Pleasant surprises are desirable, but they inherently come with the possibility of unpleasant surprises. Life is unpredictable, and that unpredictability is what makes it exciting. The pursuit of power and control can lead to disillusionment. When asked what they would do with power, many people struggle to provide a clear answer because they haven’t thought it through.
In the Western world, we often fixate on the idea of power and control, but we rarely consider the implications of having that control. Ultimately, no one truly wants to be all-powerful. This realization is crucial because it challenges our assumptions about what we desire.
When we explore pleasure to its limits, we may find ourselves in a cycle of seeking pain instead. This thoughtless pursuit can lead to dissatisfaction and suffering. Thus, when I ask what you want, the honest answer might be, “I don’t know.”
When Bodhidharma was asked who he was, he simply replied, “I don’t know.” This reflects a state of desirelessness. There are different stages of not knowing: initially, you may not know what you want because you haven’t thought deeply about it. As you reflect, you might identify some desires, but ultimately, you may realize that those aren’t truly fulfilling.
You might not know what you want for two reasons: either you already have it, or you don’t fully understand yourself. The essence of our being is often a mystery, and this state of not knowing can lead to humility and openness. When you stop trying to control everything and let go, you conserve energy that can be redirected toward more meaningful pursuits.
In essence, the more you give up the need for control, the more energy and fulfillment you can access. Embrace the unknown, and allow yourself to explore the possibilities that life has to offer. This openness can lead to a more enriching and satisfying life journey.
Take some time to write a reflective journal entry about your true desires. Ask yourself, “What would I do if money were no object?” and explore your passions without the constraints of financial concerns. This exercise will help you clarify your genuine interests and aspirations.
Identify a passion or interest you’ve always wanted to pursue and start a small project related to it. Whether it’s painting, writing, or learning a new skill, dedicate a few hours each week to this project. Share your progress with peers to gain feedback and encouragement.
Participate in a group discussion about the concepts of control and power. Discuss the implications of having control over everything and explore the idea of embracing unpredictability. Reflect on how these concepts relate to your personal desires and life goals.
Engage in a mindfulness meditation session focused on letting go of control and embracing the unknown. Use this time to cultivate a sense of openness and acceptance, allowing yourself to be present in the moment without the need for certainty.
Conduct a self-exploration exercise where you embrace the “I don’t know” mindset. Reflect on areas of your life where you feel uncertain and consider how this uncertainty can lead to new opportunities and personal growth. Share your insights with a classmate or mentor.
Here’s a sanitized version of the provided transcript, focusing on clarity and coherence while removing any inappropriate or unclear language:
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This raises a deeper question: what do you desire? What makes you feel alive? What kind of situation would you like to be in? Often, when students approach me after college, they express uncertainty about their future. I ask them, “What would you do if money were no object? How would you truly enjoy spending your life?”
It’s fascinating that many students say they want to be painters, poets, or writers, but they often believe they can’t earn a living that way. Others might express a desire for an outdoor lifestyle, perhaps wanting to teach riding. When we finally identify what someone genuinely wants to do, I encourage them to pursue that passion and not to focus on money. If you prioritize money above all else, you may end up wasting your life doing things you don’t enjoy just to make a living, which is unfulfilling.
It’s better to have a shorter life filled with what you love than a long life spent in misery. If you truly enjoy what you do, you can eventually master it, and that mastery can lead to financial success. There are countless interests out there, and you’ll find others who share your passions.
However, we often raise children to follow the same paths we did, perpetuating a cycle of dissatisfaction. This leads to a cycle where we justify our choices by encouraging our children to do the same, which can feel unfulfilling.
When we naively consider our desires, we might think we want to control everything—to create things that never age or break, to have instant transportation, and to possess technological omnipotence. But if you take the time to reflect deeply, you may realize that this isn’t what you truly want. A future that is completely predictable is essentially the past, and what we really seek is surprise and spontaneity.
Pleasant surprises are desirable, but they inherently come with the possibility of unpleasant surprises. Life is unpredictable, and that unpredictability is what makes it exciting. The pursuit of power and control can lead to disillusionment. When asked what they would do with power, many people struggle to provide a clear answer because they haven’t thought it through.
In the Western world, we often fixate on the idea of power and control, but we rarely consider the implications of having that control. Ultimately, no one truly wants to be all-powerful. This realization is crucial because it challenges our assumptions about what we desire.
When we explore pleasure to its limits, we may find ourselves in a cycle of seeking pain instead. This thoughtless pursuit can lead to dissatisfaction and suffering. Thus, when I ask what you want, the honest answer might be, “I don’t know.”
When Bodhidharma was asked who he was, he simply replied, “I don’t know.” This reflects a state of desirelessness. There are different stages of not knowing: initially, you may not know what you want because you haven’t thought deeply about it. As you reflect, you might identify some desires, but ultimately, you may realize that those aren’t truly fulfilling.
You might not know what you want for two reasons: either you already have it, or you don’t fully understand yourself. The essence of our being is often a mystery, and this state of not knowing can lead to humility and openness. When you stop trying to control everything and let go, you conserve energy that can be redirected toward more meaningful pursuits.
In essence, the more you give up the need for control, the more energy and fulfillment you can access.
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This version maintains the core ideas while ensuring clarity and appropriateness.
Desire – A strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen. – In philosophical discourse, desire is often examined in relation to human motivation and the pursuit of happiness.
Passion – Intense emotion compelling action, often seen as a driving force in human behavior. – In psychology, passion is studied as a key component of motivation and personal fulfillment.
Control – The power to influence or direct people’s behavior or the course of events. – Philosophers debate the extent to which individuals have control over their own actions and decisions.
Power – The ability or capacity to influence the behavior of others or the course of events. – In political philosophy, power is a central concept in understanding governance and authority.
Unpredictability – The quality of being unable to be predicted or foreseen. – In existential philosophy, the unpredictability of life is often highlighted as a source of both anxiety and freedom.
Fulfillment – The achievement of something desired, promised, or predicted, often leading to a sense of satisfaction. – Psychological theories of well-being often emphasize the importance of personal fulfillment in achieving happiness.
Dissatisfaction – A lack of satisfaction or contentment, often leading to a desire for change or improvement. – In philosophical discussions, dissatisfaction can be a catalyst for personal growth and societal progress.
Humility – A modest or low view of one’s own importance; humbleness. – Many philosophical traditions regard humility as a virtue essential for ethical living and self-awareness.
Unknown – That which is not known or familiar, often invoking curiosity or fear. – The unknown is a central theme in existential philosophy, challenging individuals to confront the limits of their knowledge.
Spontaneity – The condition of being spontaneous; impulsive action or behavior. – In psychological studies, spontaneity is often linked to creativity and the ability to adapt to new situations.
