Why Love and Marriage in Ancient India was Weird

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The lesson explores the evolution of love and marriage in ancient India, highlighting its unique aspects from matriarchal practices in the Indus Valley civilization to the patriarchal shifts during the Vedic period. It discusses various wedding ceremonies, the role of love marriages, and the impact of orthodox Hinduism on women’s status, illustrating how some ancient customs persist in modern Indian weddings. Ultimately, it emphasizes the deep cultural significance of marriage as a lifelong commitment, often extending beyond this life.

Why Love and Marriage in Ancient India was Unique

Indian weddings today are famous for being grand and colorful events, but have you ever wondered what they were like thousands of years ago? The Indian subcontinent is not only one of the oldest civilizations but also possibly the birthplace of marriage as we know it. Let’s take a journey back in time to explore how marriage in ancient India compares to today.

The Early Days: Matriarchy in the Indus Valley

In ancient times, many societies were dominated by men, but Indian civilization started differently. Evidence from graves in Harappa suggests that the Indus Valley civilization was a matriarchy. This means women were the heads of the household and made important decisions in married life. In places like Harappa and Mohenjo-Daro, it was common for the groom to move into the bride’s house after marriage. However, brides who married foreigners would move away, often as part of business deals to strengthen trade.

Homes for married couples were made of baked bricks and varied in size based on the family’s wealth. Wealthier families might have homes with multiple floors and courtyards. In daily life, priests taught children reading, writing, and other subjects, while families taught them crafts.

The Vedic Period: Changes in Gender Roles

With the arrival of the Indo-Aryans, gender roles shifted, and patriarchy became more common in India. The Vedic religion allowed women some freedom in career choices but placed them in a subordinate role in marriage. A woman was seen as her father’s property before marriage and her husband’s property afterward. Despite this, women played an equal role in marriage, sharing everything with their spouses. Couples were encouraged to follow the examples of divine pairs like Rama and Sita or Shiva and Sati, who were considered incomplete without each other.

Different Types of Weddings

During the Vedic period, there were eight types of wedding ceremonies, each based on how the couple agreed to marry. Regardless of the type, marriage was seen as a lifelong commitment, extending even into the next seven lives according to religious texts.

One unique ceremony was the Swayamvara, where the bride chose her groom from many suitors. This might involve a skill test, like an archery competition, or solving a riddle. Other ceremonies involved the father giving his daughter as a bride, sometimes with a dowry. Although this sounds like a transaction, the daughter’s consent was usually considered.

Love and Marriage

Love marriages, known as Gandharva Vivaha, were technically allowed but not widely accepted. These marriages were named after Gandharvas, mythical creatures. Despite societal norms, love was acknowledged, as seen in the story of King Bharat, who was born from a love marriage.

Polygamy was also present, with both men and women allowed to have multiple spouses, though it was more common among men, especially kings and emperors, for diplomatic reasons.

Changes with Orthodox Hinduism

Around 500 BCE, the Vedic system evolved into orthodox Hinduism, and the status of women declined. The concept of Devadasi emerged, where families might dedicate their daughters to temples, often leading to them being treated as servants. This practice also lowered the acceptable marriage age for girls, sometimes as young as 10. Widows faced harsh treatment and isolation, and in some areas, were forced to self-immolate on their husband’s funeral pyre, a practice that continued until the 19th century.

Modern Connections

While some ancient customs have faded, others remain in modern India. Couples still marry by circling a bonfire seven times, and married women are called “Aadhangini,” meaning “husband’s other half.”

So, are you ready to think about committing to someone for the next seven lives?

  1. How did the matriarchal structure of the Indus Valley civilization influence the roles and responsibilities within marriage compared to the patriarchal systems that followed?
  2. In what ways did the transition from matriarchy to patriarchy during the Vedic period affect women’s autonomy and status in marriage?
  3. What are your thoughts on the concept of marriage as a lifelong commitment extending into the next seven lives, as seen in ancient Indian traditions?
  4. How do you perceive the practice of Swayamvara, where brides chose their grooms, in the context of modern-day marriage customs?
  5. Considering the societal norms of ancient India, how do you think love marriages, like Gandharva Vivaha, challenged or complemented traditional arranged marriages?
  6. What are your reflections on the impact of orthodox Hinduism on women’s roles and rights within marriage, particularly regarding practices like Devadasi and widowhood?
  7. How do you think the historical practice of polygamy in ancient India influenced the dynamics of marriage and family structures?
  8. In what ways do you see the influence of ancient Indian marriage customs in contemporary Indian weddings and relationships?
  1. Create a Timeline of Marriage Practices

    Research and create a timeline that highlights the evolution of marriage practices in ancient India. Include key events and changes from the Indus Valley civilization to the Vedic period and beyond. Use visuals and brief descriptions to make your timeline engaging.

  2. Role-Playing Activity: Ancient Indian Wedding

    In groups, reenact an ancient Indian wedding ceremony. Assign roles such as the bride, groom, family members, and priests. Choose one of the eight types of Vedic wedding ceremonies and perform it, explaining each step to the class. This will help you understand the cultural significance of these ceremonies.

  3. Debate: Matriarchy vs. Patriarchy

    Participate in a class debate on the advantages and disadvantages of matriarchal and patriarchal societies, as seen in ancient India. Use evidence from the article to support your arguments. This will help you critically analyze gender roles and their impact on society.

  4. Research Project: Love Marriages in Ancient India

    Investigate the concept of Gandharva Vivaha and other love marriages in ancient India. Present your findings in a creative format, such as a video, podcast, or digital presentation. Discuss how these practices compare to modern love marriages.

  5. Creative Writing: A Day in the Life

    Write a short story or diary entry from the perspective of a young person living in ancient India. Describe their thoughts and feelings about marriage, family roles, and societal expectations. This will help you empathize with individuals from the past and understand their experiences.

Indian weddings are known around the world as grand, lavish, and memorable spectacles. But were they the same colorful extravaganzas 5,000 years ago? The Indian subcontinent was not only one of the cradles of civilization but also arguably the birthplace of the institution of marriage. For a civilization that has never ceased to exist, how much does tying the knot in the present day differ from the past?

Today on Nutty History, we’re walking down the historical aisle to see what marriage was like in ancient India. While many human societies throughout history were male-dominant, Indian civilization had a different beginning. Graves found at Harappa indicate that the Indus Valley civilization was actually a matriarchy, meaning that women were the heads of the household and were in charge of all important decisions within married life. Archaeological findings suggest that in Harappa and Mohenjo-Daro, it was the groom who would move into his bride’s house after marriage. It was only the brides who married foreigners that moved away from their homes and towns. These marriages were often business arrangements meant to strengthen trade and commerce.

The houses that married couples lived in were traditionally made of baked bricks and varied depending on the wealth of the family. Fancier homes might have more than one floor and perhaps a courtyard. In day-to-day life, priests were responsible for instructing children in reading, writing, and general academia, while the family was responsible for teaching them crafts.

With the advent of Indo-Aryans in the northern Indian plains, gender roles changed, and patriarchy found its way into India. The Vedic religion was relatively liberal regarding a woman’s career choices but placed her in a subordinate role when it came to marriage. In the Vedic system, a woman was considered her father’s property before marriage and then her husband’s property thereafter. However, women were still considered to play an equal role in marriage, and everything was shared between spouses. The ideal couple of this age was supposed to follow the examples of divine pairs such as Rama and Sita or Shiva and Sati, who were each considered incomplete without their spouse.

In the Vedic period, there were eight different types of wedding ceremonies, depending on how the couple came to an agreement for the union. Most importantly, whichever type of wedding was held, they were bound together in marriage, and according to religious texts, they were in it not just for life but for the next seven lives.

One unique kind of wedding ceremony was called Swayamvara, where the bride would choose her groom from many suitors assembled in one place. This might involve some sort of skill test for the hopeful men, such as an archery competition or the bride-to-be presenting a riddle to test their wit. Other wedding ceremonies involved the father donating his daughter as a bride, gifting her, or accepting a dowry for her. While it may sound transactional, the daughter’s consent was usually involved in the decision-making.

As for having romantic feelings toward a special someone, love marriages in the Vedic era were technically allowed but not entirely socially acceptable. These weddings were called Gandharva Vivaha, named after Gandharvas, elf-like mythological creatures. However, love was still acknowledged, as India’s native name, Bharat, comes from the mythical king Bharat, conceived from a love marriage.

Not all marriages in the Vedic period involved just two people; polygamy was allowed for both genders to an extent but was more common among men. Kings and emperors were more likely to have multiple wives, as the women of royal families acted as diplomatic ambassadors.

Around 500 BCE, Vedic systems evolved into orthodox Hinduism, and the status of women took a turn for the worse. This change altered the social fabric of marriage. The concept of Devadasi, wives of the gods, also emerged during this time, where families might donate their daughters to temples. These women were often treated as servants of the head priest and higher clergy.

This practice pushed the boundaries of acceptable marriage age for women, leading families to marry off their daughters at increasingly younger ages. While the average marriage age for women during the Vedic era was around 15, it dropped to as low as 10 with the advent of orthodox Hinduism. The changing times also became problematic for widowed women, who were often treated harshly and expected to live in isolation. In some parts of ancient India, widows were even forced to self-immolate on their husband’s pyre, a practice that persisted until the 19th century.

While some marital customs have been left in the past, other traditions still exist in modern-day India. Couples will still marry by looping a bonfire seven times, and married women are still referred to as “Aadhangini,” meaning “husband’s other half.”

So, do you think you’re ready to commit to your partner for the next seven lives?

MarriageA legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship. – In many ancient societies, marriage was often arranged by families to strengthen alliances.

AncientBelonging to the very distant past and no longer in existence. – The ancient Egyptians built the pyramids as tombs for their pharaohs.

IndiaA country in South Asia with a rich history and diverse cultures. – India was the birthplace of several major world religions, including Hinduism and Buddhism.

MatriarchyA social system in which women hold primary power, predominating in roles of political leadership, moral authority, and control of property. – Some historians believe that certain ancient societies were matriarchies, where women played a central role in governance and family life.

VedicRelating to the Vedas, the most ancient Hindu scriptures, written in early Sanskrit. – The Vedic period in India was marked by the composition of the Vedas, which are considered sacred texts in Hinduism.

WeddingsCeremonies where two people are united in marriage. – Traditional weddings in many cultures include rituals that have been passed down through generations.

LoveAn intense feeling of deep affection, often forming the basis for relationships and marriages. – In history, many famous works of art and literature have been inspired by the theme of love.

PolygamyThe practice or custom of having more than one wife or husband at the same time. – Polygamy was practiced in some ancient cultures as a way to ensure alliances and increase family size.

CustomsTraditional practices or usual ways of doing things in a particular society or place. – Many customs, such as holiday celebrations, have been passed down through generations and reflect a society’s history and values.

GenderThe state of being male or female, often used with reference to social and cultural differences rather than biological ones. – Throughout history, gender roles have varied greatly across different cultures and time periods.

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